if everybody got a free miniature animal at birth that protected you, like a tiny elephant or dragon, the world would be a better place.
at my 7th grade parent teacher conference, my english teacher was telling my mom how insightful my poem was about ‘my evil twin’ and how fascinating it was that at my age i could recognize the dark parts of myself but i was just talking about my twin brother he was such a dick
if ellen was president of the world there would be no wars only dancing
(Source: haave-you-met-ted)
how to have a flat stomach
- remove all of your organs
